REAL

I received an email from someone that told me that I shouldn't be so open in my blog. WELL heads up... I have finally realized that I HAVE to be real with myself and everyone who reads my blog. I have always been the kid who wrote down how I felt. It is my way of being real with myself and not getting lost in my thoughts and sugar coating things.

I feel like if everyone was real with themselves you would see your imperfections. Its in laying out how truly imperfect I am that I see how perfect HE WHO IS IN ME... truly is! And yea, I lay it all out there... because when the day of judgment comes... nothing will be hidden. I am not going to try and hide anything. I lived like that for 18 years and that is why I started writing. I spent many many nights wondering how to express myself. And when I started writing, I saw that my innermost thoughts and concerns came out on paper, and now on the screen.

I dont write down what I have been through and what I am going through to hold up a flashing sign that says "LOOK AT ME!!!" I write/type them so say... I am HUMAN. I STRUGGLE. I FALL. I am INSECURE. I get ANGRY. I am IMPATIENT. I DESIRE things. I am sometimes an emotional WRECK. Because like I said, when I realize how imperfect I am, I am forced to realize and rely and someone who is.... JESUS CHRIST. He takes all of my bolded problems, and comfort me with his love and assurance that I am ok.

I take this opportunity to blog to be real. To share my problems to be therapeutic to myself and hopefully let someone see him through me! I am an imperfect vessel that sometimes springs leaks and pours out bitter water. The world today looks at Christians and thinks that we are this "Holier than thou" being. I want to be REAL... I am human and I mess up. BUT THERE IS FORGIVENESS!!! I want to be found praising him when I mess up. I want to share my circumstances so that when God shows up, I cant boast only through him and not myself!!

I am not ashamed of my mistakes... I am humbled by them. Because through my disappointments, strife, discontentment, faults, and failures... there has been triumph in Christ! And I am blessed beyond measure!