Underneath

I’ve tried so hard, gone too far
To cover up who I am
Done my best, but no success
‘Cause deep inside it’s still a mess
I’ve held so tight, but don’t you know
Healing comes when you let go

Open up the heart that you hide
Everything you locked up inside
It’s time to come clean
Let mercy set you free
Take off that heavy disguise
Lay it all out in the light
The good, the bad, the in between
God loves what’s underneath

You’re not alone, ‘cause Jesus knows
The secrets that you’re scared to show
And you can run, but when you’re done
You’ll see that you can’t outrun love
Break the chains, find new hope
Freedom comes when you let go


The smile I try to fake
To cover up the pain
He holds all my mistakes
And then he washes them away
He washes them away


Ive decided to let go and let God... its hard for a control freak... but I know I have to let the Lord handle it. I understand that God has a greater yes for my life, I just have to hold on and let his plan unfold. He knows what he is doing. I have to let him take the insecurity, uncertainty, frustration, disappointment, and impatience... I have to let him have it to turn it in to something beautiful.

Im taking it one day at a time. I took 2 steps forward Monday and Tuesday morning, my mom sent me a text about an ex of mine getting engaged over the weekend. THREE steps back. It actually made me sick like you punched me in the stomach. But today I took another step forward when I decided to not let this consume me. Because lets face it, my biggest fear in life is being alone and the crazy old woman with 90 cats. But I have to trust that God knows my future and he has it in his hands. I have to worry about today. I just have to have his arm to hold me up so I can take another step because tonight my heart and mind aren't matching up.