No one else

My world is closing in
On the inside
But I’m not showing it
When all I am is crying out
I hold it in and fake a smile
Still I’m broken
I’m broken
Only one can understand
And only one can hold the hand
Of the broken

When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I’ve been
You run to me with outstretched hands
And You hold me in your arms
Again

I need no explanation of why me
I just need confirmation
Only You could understand the emptiness inside my head
I am falling
I’m falling down upon my knees
To find the one who gives me peace
I am flying
Lord I am flying

When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I’ve been
You run to me with outstretched hands
And You hold me in Your arms
Again

I have come to you in search of faith
Cause I can’t see beyond this place
Oh You are God and I am man
So I’ll leave it in Your hands

So... 2011... I hope you are a ton better than 2010. I was cleaning the church yesterday and the Lord spoke to me and told me plain as day... “lay it down Crystal! “ HUH??? I stood there with the vacuum cleaner in hand. "Lay what down Lord??” I think God really has to have a sense of humor! If I were him I would have laughed at me. It was so surreal… “You know what you need to leave with me! Something you think about every single free moment you have!” I have never felt so compelled to hit the alter and pray than the day I got saved. It was there that I found out something… I have been so consumed wanting this one thing… and the answer to my hearts desire was to lay it at his feet! Sure, I’ve known that’s what to do… but when you want something so bad… it takes over your life! And let me just state that because I have laid it down… does not change the fact that I still want this more than my next breath sometimes. But I have found peace.

Before, there was so much turmoil in my heart because of my own insecurities. Why not, whats wrong with me, whats wrong with you (he he), and so on. It still stings a bit when those *wonderful* questions come in… the ones that I hate. But I now have the courage to say that I have laid it at HIS feet, and I know that he will give me my hearts desires because he said he would! Simple as that!

2011 has so many new things coming my way... I can only hope that this is MY year!!!