Irritated

Grrr.... I am so irritated!! SO I come home last night and my room mate who is not feeling well is cleaning. No biggie until I realize she has moved all my stuff around!!! I am the kind of person if something isn't where I left it... it confuses the heck out of me! Well... in the bathroom all of my makeup and hair stuff is moved around. SO... I go and move everything back where I want it. I go in the kitchen to get some stuff out to make kool-aid... yea I know Im 21 I shouldn't have packs of kool-aid laying around... but o well I like it hehe! But what do I find... she has went and re-arranged my cabinets!! AGGHHH!!! So I let it go... but I come home from work this am and what do I find?!?! My bathroom counter has been neatly stacked with my make up and everything! Now let me say... my bathroom counter is usually a mess... I get ready and clean it up later. I hate that she moves my stuff!!!

Now let me clear things up as to what my frustration is about. I like clean and neat stuff. But when things are all uniform and evenly spaced... I am afraid to move. Its not home. It feels like I am a visitor in my own home! I hate feeling like when I put something somewhere, when I come back it will be somewhere else!

GRRR... If I could afford to live by myself I would... but a 1 bedroom apt is CRAZY expensive. Plus I would go nuts living alone... but at least I would know what to expect. Maybe Im just a hard person to live with I dont know. Im always going and doing something, I rarely am home to just sit. Frankly I dont want to right now... I am young and not tied down (even though thats what I want out of life is to be tied to a house and a family) but for right now it drives me nuts to sit at home because I have no reason to be.

I am so tired of living in an apt :( I want a house out of this stinkin' city... I miss grass and cows and birds and things of the sort. I miss not hearing my neighbors... or crazy stuff of the sort. I miss hearing crickets!! I LOVE crickets! I miss sitting on the porch and just hearing peace. I sit on my little porch like slab and I see my driveway and the apartments in front of me. I cant wait for that life of coming home and taking care of my family... because thats what I love. I love taking care of people... yes I was the little girl that when recess came shouted, " Hey everyone lets play house... Ill be the mommy!!!" And I still have the desire more than anything. I am so confused with what I want to do career wise... but one things is for sure... I want to be the wife and soccer mom... haha I know... Im the only 21 year old ready for that stuff... but thats just who I am.

Sigh... I just needed to vent... I just feel like I am pedaling a stationary bicycle.