Impossible is not a word

"It doesn't matter what you've heard, Impossible is not a word. Its just a reason for someone not to try. Everybody's scared to death, when they decide to take that step, out on the water... But it'll be alright. Life is so much more than what your eyes are seeing. You will find your way if you keep believing."

This song was on the radio on my way to work this am. I am scared to death. I have an interview tomorrow for a job that I really want. I just really want to do what God wants me to do. This job would mean good things for my financial status. I mean I am ok... but it would be nice to have a decent check every 2 weeks. I mean dont get me wrong... I am very thankful for my job and most days I enjoy my job. I enjoy having authority and being the go-to girl when something needs to be done. I like knowing that my supervisors think highly of me and trust me. My opinion is asked frequently because I am out and about among the staff and they usually want to know what the staff response is to things that are going on. The staff will tell me when something is going on when they wont tell anyone else and I take care of it. I enjoy this rolw because I like to fix things and I like being felt needed.

But this new job opportunity is pretty good for me. The only catch is if they are willing to work with my school schedule. When I first heard about this job I started thinking... this is something that I would really enjoy doing. Its a full time job... good pay and maybe benefits!! For a poor 21 year old... thats bank! So my thinking starts spiraling even farther to "well if they dont work with my school schedule.. guess Ill just take the job anyway. So I start thinking about abandoning nursing school. But in talking with a very wise friend... I realized... I am too close to my BSN... 3 semesters!!! I would be crazy to abandoned something that I have worked so hard for.

It would be so easy for me to quit though. When I was younger, I was the kid that everything came easy for except reading because Im dyslexic. But seriously everything was easy for me. Sports, friends, school... even boys (even though I wouldn't give them the time of day... I was mean :P) So now, the first thing that has been difficult for me... has really knocked me for a loop. I haven't really known how to handle it!

For the first time since I was in the 7th grade... I have been questioning what I want to do. And to be honest... its scares me. Ive wanted to be a nurse since I was in the 7th grade and Ill be 22 this year. That is a long time to be sure about something and then all of a sudden not be sure anymore.

But all doubts aside... I know 100% that I want to be a nurse. I know that I will be good at it. The fire is still there. (As I heard James say.. ha ha)And no matter who tries to stand in my way... Im going to finish what I started and what I am made to do. I love that when every one I know feels sick or are hurt... they come to me. I mean I don't have a license or anything... but I do know a little bit about medicine and health care... ha ha!

But this job given the opportunity would give me a little more financial stability... cause lets face it.. its hard to stand on one foot much less two working for minimum wage. But I honestly hate interviews. I get nervous and have blown a couple interviews because of it. But its like the song says, "Everybody's scared to death, when they decide to take that step, out on the water... But it'll be alright. Life is so much more than what your eyes are seeing." I know that no matter what happens, it will be Gods will and not mine... how do I know that? Because I am stepping out of his way and letting him take control!!!