I know I shouldn't ask

WHY??? I was trying to put what my mom did out of my mind but I cant. I just want to know why I cant have a sane family? I mean I love my parents dont get me wrong... but why cant they trust and be PROUD of ME?!? Yes, I made my mistakes. Yes, I gave them reasons to not trust me when I was younger. But I am older and not always wiser, but Ive done well for myself. Just ONE time I want to hear "Im proud of you Crystal."

Its so hard to sit and watch other parents support their kids no matter what... and have mine in their own world. Just because I wont live in NC. I dont get it. Why would my mom ask other people absurd questions? Why does my dad always want to pick a fight with me? WHY cant they just be normal?

I just wish I could express how much it hurts... I try to put a brave face on when Im with people but tonight I sit here in tears just wanting them to understand me, and believe in me. My dad told me that I would never make it. He was almost happy when I had to take this semester off from school. Its like he sits and waits for me to fail. Well Guess what!!! I have made it just fine on my own... I dont need your help! I say that but it would be so nice to have them tell me that they have my back no matter what.

I feel like no one believes in me.... I know James is in my corner... but there are nights like tonight when I am alone. I just want to bury my face in someone and sob. Ive buried this hurt my family has caused me so long, and tonight its really raw... please help me pray. I am so angry... I dont like it...