Ever have....

Ever have down days? Blame it on the rain or blame it on Monday or blame it on the overly cheery people this morning... but I am having the kind of day where I just feel blah.

Im frustrated. I have absolutely NO motivation to work out anymore. I had a physical therapist look at my ankle and my knee because I have been in a good amount of pain lately (just haven't said anything to anyone) and well he said NO MORE RUNNING... WHAT... no running? So, Ive basically lost all motivation. No weddings to get in shape for, no vacations to look good in a bathing suit for. (nevermind the fact Im in a suit twice a week teaching- but hey, Im IN the water not OUT) Im just in a weird place... I know I should want to be in shape and look good for ME... but I just have zero motivation. I know Ive gained A LOT weight and am unhappy about how I look, I dont ever feel "pretty"... but still have zero motivation to work out.

What is wrong with me... I used to be in GREAT shape!

I want a vacation sooooooooo bad... Even if it was a weekend trip... I need to get away. I just dont want to go by myself. My parents are going on a cruise yet again. They get mad because I cant leave the country for 2 weeks and go. But Im like "go to the beach for a week... I can do that!" But no... we have to go out of the flippin' country for 2 weeks. I dont even have a passport!

Ugghh... I wouldnt care at this point if it was a day trip trip somewhere... just some time away from JC. But, again... Its just me and its not really fun to have a day trip alone.... Im not into spending time alone. (Well not THIS much time)


I guess Ill stop whining to the internet... nothing you guys can do about my state of blah... that woe is me... I just want to be special... blah

dont worry, Ill get up for work in a couple hours and put on my happy face and go face the world like nothing is wrong... because thats what I do. I vent here and move on...