Dont fear in your insecurities

Our visiting preacher Adam Miller, has been such a blessing to me. His messages seem to penetrate my heart each and every time he takes the pulpit. But last night REALLY struck a chord with me. "God alone" God alone should be all I need. If we spend our lives just waiting to serve God for what he does in our lives then we are severely missing the mark. We should be serving God for WHO he is in our lives. He alone should be all we need for the road. We find ourselves waiting to jump in the game and really serve God when "the time is right" or "the crowd is right." If we stand around and wait for the RIGHT time... then we'll be waiting for a L O N G time! Then he moved on to some of the reasons why we don't serve the way that we should. When he said that sometimes we sit in our seats and don't move because we are sometimes insecure in our abilities, I knew he had stomped on my toes! I have been so angry at myself because a while back someone asked me to sing a specific song and I didn't and then several others have asked me to just sing... and I have sat there in my pew, scared about getting in front of everyone. I let the fear that I am insecure in my abilities get in the way of getting in the game and serving God.

James and I talked a long time last night about it He pointed out lots of places in my life where I had to overcome fear and he made me realize that I cant let my fears rule my life. These are just a few of the places that he pointed out. What if I had been too afraid to take on nursing school? I would never have discovered where I belong in this world.What if I had not kept going to Faith because I was afraid to go alone without my parents? I would have never finally became part of a family that I wouldn't trade the world for. What if I had been too afraid to move away from my parents? I would still be living a lifestyle that made me miserable. What if I had been too afraid to get to know my room mate? I would have missed out on the best friend I have ever had. What if I had been afraid to fall in love? I would have never known the true joy of giving your heart completely to someone and trusting them not to break it. And experiencing unconditional love from some one other than a family member. All these points in my life Ive had to overcome fear and there was a reward in the end. But, stepping out on faith even when I can't see the stairwell... is easier said than done!

SO I ask myself, Why do I fear in my insecurity? Hasn't God given me a job to do as a servant? Why am I sitting idly on the side? Didn't he take me through all those years in High school when I sang in a group and solo. Why am I so afraid now? Why must I let fear rule my life!?! It boils down to a choice. Sit in that pew afraid of what someone might think or say or move and stand do what God has asked. My choice? I cant sit still anymore. I say this with boldness now, and come Wednesday night I will be cowering on my pew. But after sitting under that message I cant see how I can sit there knowing that God wants me to move.

Lord, I know that you have equipped me with the courage, help me to utilize the gifts that you have given me. Help me to defeat the seeds of fear place in my heart by Satan himself, and to be the servant you have made me to be. Lord I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, but I still struggle with inadequacy and insecurity. Help me to constantly be aware that you love me just as much now, as you did when you saved me and that nothing I can ever do will change that. Thank you for loving ME. I cant wrap my mind around it sometimes that you loved ME! I feel so inept and unable to serve you sometimes. Lord instill in me a fire and a passion and a drive to serve you to MY best ability and not comparing to somebody elses ability. Lord I know you look not in ability but in availability. Here I am... mold me, make me, use me. Thank you that, had I been the only one, you still would have sent your son!