Just enjoying my life!!

I feel like I never get around to blogging anymore! But all because I am just busy living and loving my life!!

I have to be the most blessed person there is! I have a job that is stressful... but a job that I love and that Im good at! A job that I get to make a difference each and every day I put that badge on! Its a badge I wear with honor and pride!!! I love being a nurse. There are days I leave and all I want to do is crawl up in a ball and cry because of the stress and the chaos. But then there are the days that I leave and I think about the lady who gave me hug and say that I made a difference in her life by being kind and compassionate. There are days when I have 4 crazy patients and I have to post a "Love em like Jesus" post it on my MAK cart. And then there are days that I have 4 patients who are incredibly sweet and in spite of their sickness are wonderful human beings! I love the ups and downs of my job! The downs make me appreciate those days when everything is A OK!

I cant help but think that this time next year I will be someones wife! How crazy!! I will have a husband in 7 months! I can not tell you how excited I am! The more I think about it the more giddy I get lol. Now let me clarify... I know its not all going to be sunshine and smiles. I know there are going to be times that we are ready to quit... but if theres one thing I know... with God at the center of our lives we can overcome it all!! I love that there are times I catch him looking at my hand with a little smile on his face. It makes me happy when he introduces me as his fiance. I love when we talk about the future and children.

 This all comes from a girl who never wanted a husband or kids. I was just fine on my own. I though all men were pigs who wanted one thing. But it all changed that day 6 wonderful years ago when this amazing man walked into my life. He made me believe that not all men are bad. Falling in love with him was a scary thing for me. Becoming close to someone who could potentially hurt me was something I had promised myself as a scared 7-9 year old girl,  would never happen. I was hurt by a loved one. Someone that was never supposed to harm me. I endured things that no child should have to. Things I buried for years. Things I never told anyone. When I met James I found myself wanting to run away from everyone close to me because they had the potential to hurt me. I had locked that part of me so tight that I thought I wouldnt care for anyone except for me in efforts to protect myself.

That all changed the night downstairs in my dorm when he hugged me and told me he loved me... I scared myself when I said it back. I remember several weeks before that, sitting in the parking lot at church and he had one little tear come down the side of his face when he said he loved me the first time. Scared me silly. I wanted to run as far and as fast as I could away from him. But thats the funny part about love... once your in it... theres no running. That night I said, "I love you" was the most life changing moment. I realized that for once I loved someone more than I loved myself. It was scary because for so long had blocked that part off so that I wouldnt get hurt. But the possibility that I could get hurt was irrelevant. I was totally and completely in love with this man. And to this today I love him more and more every day!

I am just loving life to the fullest! I am sooo blesssed!!

I love that my life isnt perfect. I have stress, worry, pain, disappointment, discouragement, and  fear.. so on and so forth... But I am CHOOSING to live like I am blessed! And while everything isnt perfect, I rejoice in my lifes imperfections because I serve a God that makes all things perfect in his timing! I waited so long for this ring on my hand. And Im not saying that this magical thing on my hand changed my view of life... but it did open my eyes to the fact that God has a purpose and a plan for everything! I am so in awe of how God is molding and making my life in to what he wants me to be. I am blessed in spite of what ever trial that comes my way! I cant wait to see what God is gonna do in my life in this next  chapter he is preparing for me!!!