Wow!

Wow! Thats all I can say! God has so richly blessed my life! I dont think I have stopped smiling since February 11! I always dreamt of that moment when the man I adored would get down on one knee with a box in his hands and say those magic words! NEVER in a million years would I have dreamt that it would be that amazing! I could not have ever written a love story more amazing than the love story that God has written for my life! I stated many many times that if I could just hold on that I knew God would fulfill my dreams and they would be better than I could imagine. For once in my life I can say... I TOLD YOU SO!!!

What God brought to me that day was WAY better than I could have imagined! I never knew just how much that I wanted this until I saw the love of my life on one knee! I never knew just how much of my life was consumed of thinking about it and desiring it! I suppose I was thinking that he didn't want it or he would have asked by now! But let me share a little something I have learned. I am sooooo thankful that one of us had enough sense to pray about Gods timing. I knew that God had plans for us, but me being the impulsive one wanted to jump the gun. So when the days of down and out came about, I just assumed that either James didn't want it or that God simply just wasn't listening to my prayers. Some days I believed both were true. But in the 2 weeks since I have learned that neither one was correct.

Looking through my tears at that most amazing man with that little box I realized, "Holy cow... God is answering my prayers!!" That is the exact thought going through my mind! Looking down and realizing that he wanted this just as much as I did!!! I am in awe of just how amazing God works! God knew I was at my breaking point and he said..... OK. Now I dont believe that God sits up in heaven and moves us around like chess pieces. But I do believe he wanted to see just how faithful I could be... how faithful BOTH of us could be! And Ill admit throughout the 3 years that I have KNOWN that this was the man I wanted to marry... I have NOT always been the woman that I needed to be. I was selfish, insensitive, impatient, bitter, mean, depressed... I could go on and on. But one thing I do know is that up until the moment... I never lost my hope. My light flickered no doubt... but God always gave me what I needed to make it through another day! And thats what makes this so much better! I waited for this. I stood still finally AND GOD MOVED!!!

Since that day, my attitude it different. My mindset is different. I am in total awe of God and how he has been working the whole time!!!

I love the look on James' face when he talks about the future. I love thinking about that day and the days to follow. I love talking about our house, our life, children (down the line lol), FOREVER! I love that he takes me in his arms so firm and loving. I love the little kisses on the forehead, the lingering hugs, the way that I just want to be with him no matter what were doing. I love the way he looks at me now. I simply love him! It stinks parting ways! BUT another test of waiting! MAY 2013... hurry up :) :)