Ive read the book of Acts before and honestly, it fell dull and familiar as Ive began to read it again. But when I came to chapter nine this morning, something new jumped out at me. I began to see the word “rejection,” although it was not in written form. Perhaps I saw what I was feeling today—rejected.
I was reading at the part of the story where Saul, a murderer, had just been transformed into Paul, a disciple of Christ. Even though Paul was a changed person, many rejected him because of his past reputation and lifestyle.
Not only that, but as Paul became fully devoted to serving Christ—sacrificing his education, his life, and remaining single so he could better serve the Lord—he was falsely accused, thrown into prison more than once and shipwrecked on several occasions. Doesn’t that seem odd for a man called of God? Wouldn’t God’s favor protect him from such adversity?
I thought about the depression that has lingered with me for months. It sometimes is so bad that week after week I dont want to get out of bed. I have to drag myself out because of obligations. I get up and put my smile on some days so that I can hide the down days. I have felt rejected by God, my family, my friends, and those I love. It Doesn’t make sense. I was serving Him in more ways than I could count. Then, without warning, strong winds came and ushered what felt like a storm into my life. Clouds of uncertainty and impatience hang overhead and before I knew it, I felt “shipwrecked.”
It seems so unfair. I’ve tried to live right. I try to walk in obedience the best I can. I take God at His Word and trust in His promises. Shouldn’t faith like this call for smooth sailing, instead of stormy, shipwrecking seas?
If we follow Paul’s journey, we find God working through the rejection, the trials, the prison time, and the shipwrecks. Paul shared the gospel with the Pharisees through his rejection and imprisonment. People saw God’s power at work when Paul survived the storms, when the snake bite didn’t kill him, and when the jail shook—opening doors and loosing chains.
Paul didn’t let his circumstances wreck him with a sense of rejection. He didn’t allow self-pity and doubt to overtake him. Instead, we see in Acts 16:22-31 that after being stripped, beaten, severely flogged, thrown in the inner cell of a prison and his feet in stocks, Paul prayed and sang hymns to God. And others around him were listening. The power of God came in such a way that the prison guard begged Paul to tell him, “what must I do to be saved?” He replied, Believe in the Lord Jesus.
God kept His promise to work all things together for the good of this man who loved Him and was called according to His purposes. As Paul depended on God and trusted His faithfulness in the midst of his adversity, many witnessed God’s power and believed.
And the same is true for me. God doesn’t waste my pain, my rejection or my “shipwrecks.” He uses them to bring about His plan—to position us so that others can see His transforming power at work in our lives and believe in the living God.
Father God,
I trust that You see the bigger picture. You see why I have to wait for something I want so badly -You see that I want a life with the man I love more than my own self. You see that I want a commitment with him to secure my doubts that this isnt all a dream. You see my frustration with waiting. You see that I want a family to love and be with. You see that the loneliness sometimes is so painful that I cant breath.
You see why my dad is the way he is. You see that I want his approval in my life. You see that I crave answers. I believe there is a purpose for my pain. Strengthen me to rise from my ashes so that others will see You are my help and my salvation.
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