Laying it back down

Sometimes it is hard to accept that God can bring about His purposes through our trials.It is hard to see past our circumstances to a future that, for us, doesn’t exist yet.But God is not constrained by time.He is not reined in by our circumstances.Because of this, we have to trust that our limited perspective simply can not process His higher purpose.

There is a temptation during these times to wrestle back the control from Him, telling Him through our actions that He can’t be trusted.We say to Him, “I got this one, God.”

David writes of this tendency in Psalm 103:2,"Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits" David knew that he had to remind himself not to forget what the Lord had done for him — and what He would do for him in the future. Like the rest of us, David struggled with remembering that God has a purpose in every trial, and a benefit waiting for those who will persevere.

I remember a time I ran impulsively ahead of the Lord because I didn’t want to wait on His answer. My biggest enemy is impatience. I was consumed by it... and had intentions of taking matters into my own hands of just walking away.

I had wrestled the control back once again.

About 8 months of wrestling... On new years day while cleaning the church...In that moment I felt God remind me, “I told you to wait.”

Then even last night I became increasingly agitated about the situation again after being reminded by friends that, "Its about that time." I forgot what God taught me on New Years day... LAY IT DOWN! I spent 8 months in the agony of my impatience. Wanting something so bad that I sat and cried out to God night after night. He kept telling me to wait, but like the 2 year old in me- I stomped my feet and said, "But Lord... I want it now!!!" I couldn't sleep last night because I had picked it back up and it was so heavy that even my next breath seemed impossible. And finally around 3am this morning God nudged me again... "Lay it down... I am God and you are not. This is mine to bear for you, but you HAVE to lay it down!!"

Even though this was difficult, it was a very powerful lesson that I have cant forget.Laying it down and letting God bear the weight is freeing.God used this lesson to teach me that I have to wait on His purpose to be accomplished. When I do, my earthly journey becomes intertwined with my spiritual one. This is part of growing in faith as we simultaneously grow in my relationship with Him. I can’t forget to remember what He’s done in the past, or I won’t be able to cling to His promises for the future.

Father God, I don’t have this one. But You do. Help me to trust fully in You. Please bring to mind the things I can remember that will comfort me as I wait on You to act on my behalf for my future.