What power source are you using?

WOW.. where have I been?!?! I feel like its been forever since Ive blogged!! I still write, but Ive been writing some private things. Whew... what a ride Ive had in the last little bit! But you know what! God has been right there in the noise that is my life!

The preacher tonight preached a simple message about our power source. What is your power source? The power of self or the power of the cross. I am ashamed to admit but I know that I have been using the power of self. Ive been doing things with good intentions but wanting credit... its not about me. It has to be about him who allows me to do the things I am able to do. At work I am in contact with sick people. There is something about being sick that makes people re-evaluate where they are in life. As an aide, the patients are more apt to talk to us because we have more time. And God has opened so many doors for me to witness. Some I have walked through... others I have slammed and ran the other way for silly reasons. No time, fear, feeling inadequate... fear that my co-workers will think I'm strange... the list could go on and on.

TJ said something that hit home really hard. He spoke about when we stand before God. It will be me and him. He will roll out the opportunities that I didn't seize, all of the private little sins that I refused to give up, all the times Ive fallen short... but thankfully the blood covers it all. But what hit me was the fact that I dont want those things on my record. I dont want to have to listen to all the times that I blended in and the rocks had to cry out in my place. I dont want to have to look at the private sinful part of my heart. Ive been going to the altar and laying something horrible down but picking it up and taking it with me thinking that God has much better things to be doing than to help me. Ive been trying to deal with this on my own... the power of self! I dont want to have to hear him say... depart.

Tonight the power of the cross took over my life. Tonight the green power source came on in my life. Its re-usable and the more I use it the cleaner I get and Joy is the only byproduct!!

I have some things that have to change in my life. I ask for all your prayers... I have to start with someone very close to me... its nothing bad but its something that has bothered me for a year or so. I dread it, but I know that for me to be happy, I have to handle what has been making me unhappy. I desire your prayers that I wont be scared to stand out from the crowd that I wont be silent and the rocks wont have to cry out in my place!

God is so amazing. I cant believe it when I stand back and look at what he has brought me through in my short 22 years... Its incredible!!!

I leave you with one question. What power source are you using? Are you relying on the power of self that leads to destruction. Or are you relying on the everlasting power of the cross that leads to edification of the only one who is worthy?