SO, I am trying not to have a pity party this morning. I spent the night throwing up. No fun. Then I get to work and am checking my bank account and I see an overdraft fee. So Im like... what the heck is that for. I look and see that its my rent check. I post-dated it for the 17th and she cashed it on the 5th! And the bank didnt even look at the date! So I get to leave work and go by the bank and then to see my landlord.
I am so lonely. I miss Vikk because she is in Europe. I miss James, we never see eachother except for at church anymore, and then at that its 10-15 minuites. I miss spending time with him. So leat to say.... I am lonely. Yea yea, I know... we need to talk about it... but I dont see him long enough to tell him anything.
Im stressed about bills because I just dont know where the money is going to come from.
Im trying yo be patient. I see all my friends getting married or at least engaged and I am trying so hard to not get envious and impatient. I know its in Gods timing, but sometimes I wonder if it will ever happen because it seems to be the furthest thing from his mind.
But O well. I know that God will take care of me. I hate the fact that last week was so great and God blessed me, but first thing this morning, satan is at my door with discouragement, fear, doubt, loneliness, depression. I miss the joy in my life...
Monday, June 8, 2009
trying not to have a pity party
Posted by Crystal at 8:51 AM
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1 comments:
Don't be discouraged. I know its easier said than done, especially if your worn down physically. I have been there to many times to count, however a good rest period usually makes my problems seem smaller and God seem bigger. Try and take care of yourself, and use those quiet times to be alone with the Lord. Trust me if you do get married you'll be longing for some quiet lonely days to no avail.
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