Ive had time on my hands to write again! I love to write!! Anywho... just an update... my family is still being impossible. I know that I shouldn't have toxic relationships in my life, but they are my parents and I love them despite what they put me through.
I am back in counseling again... round 435,000 or however many it is. It seems that my weight issues are stemmed from my parents. My therapist was reviewing my file from when my anorexia was at its worst and my major stressors were my parents. And when I came to college and I went on a down spiral again... parents were at the root again. Now, I haven't gone into a down spiral... but I know how my mind reacts to their stress. "Dont eat" Now understand me... I dont have little voices in my head telling me to not eat... I just get into this funk where nothing is appetizing... and I kind of loose the will to survive so I dont have to deal with them. Then as I loose 3 or 4 pounds... I get into the rut and it becomes an image conscious thing again. I have been having trouble for the last week eating with people. But I have a WONDERFUL Christian counselor and she does amazing work! She always makes me see that God has so much more for me to do than to sit and waste away. Were going to hopefully get my new roomate sarah in on a few of my sessions so she can have a heads up. I know this sounds silly, but I have a problem and I realize it. I am not ashamed. The more people I have fighting for me instead of against me the better! I need people checking up on me and making sure that I eat. Not forcing me... just reminding me. I am finally at a weight where the doctor says technically I am overweight, but with my history, its just safer for me to eat healthy and not diet and over exercise. Ive been running this week and its been GREAT!
But anywho... I am almost fully moved into my new place! Its AMAZING! We got a couch today. I saw it at goodwill last night and I didnt have the money for it. So Sarahs parents were here today and I told them about it and how much I liked it. So I left to go to a dinner at the church, and I came home... and there it sat in my living room! Its AMAZING! Its huge and...its microfiber!!!!! YAY! Im still sleeping in the floor until I get enough money saved to go get a futon... but thats ok. We got a kitchen table, a microwave... I am getting an internet signal from the guys next door and they said they didnt care for us using it. Were getting our cable hooked up on Wednesday... and I still have a week off! Once Bible school is over... I have to find another job. I need to start saving money cause I cant work as much in the fall. I know I am going to have to get a night shift job somewhere...I dont want to but bills stink :P
ANYWAY.... Pee wee and I are happy and HOME. I cant believe it! After all I went through! I have some pretty amazing people in my life that have came through for me in the last month. You guys know who you are... thanks for stepping up and being what my parents should be!
So I am off here to do whatever I take a fancy to :)
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
la la la
Posted by Crystal at 12:11 PM
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1 comments:
now, go back and re-read how you felt at the beginning of your move...how bothered and troubled you were...and see how God works...amazing isn't it...
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