Sorrow may last....

I was listening to a song the other day while driving. Now let me just say, I'm the weirdo driving with my windows down and the radio blasting. And gladly since high school, the music I blare now isn't what it used to be. I was listening to the praise CD James got for me. And let me just say again that I didn't think I would enjoy the CD, but since Easter that is all I have listened to and something about it has blessed me beyond anything I would have imagined. ANYWAY... I was listening to a song when I heard:

"I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning"


Even though Ive heard this song a MILLION times since it was released, at this moment in time in my life I had to pull over and cry. It was just like all the built up pressure overflowed all at once.

I have felt so broken down and discouraged since the church split. I have worried about school, wondering if I am going to pass these classes for the second time. Stressed out about finding a someone to co-sign for my apartment. Sad about my room mate/best friend and I moving away from each other. Dealing with family drama. Wondering where I will work in the fall. And well... just plain WORRYING! I admit it, I'm a worry wart!

As I drove along on the first REALLY gorgeous day of the year listening to this song, I'm pressed but not crushed; I was reminded that God knew WAY ahead of my trials that I would be tested. And he said that nothing can touch me that doesn't go by him first. O what comfort!

I sat on the side of the road just thinking. I have never seen a time when so many of my brothers and sisters in Christ are in such turmoil. I feel so helpless sometimes. I want to fix their situations because thats what I do. When something is wrong, it seems like I'm the one who jumps and tries to fix everything. And I know I have the ability to pray for them and their problems, but the control freak in me doesn't want to surrender and let God take the wheel. But as I sat there and as I spent time at the lake yesterday Ive realized, I am not capable of "fixing" it, but simply I can pray. And pray I will be doing.

I know so many people in broken homes,those who like myself live paycheck to paycheck and wonder where the next bill payment will come from, those who struggle with decisions, those who have to face something that they are scared of or who don't know how they will get through it, those who struggle within themselves, those who struggle outwardly. Hold on dear friends, God has the steering wheel and he has you in your circumstance for a reason. I personally have been put in a place that I don't particularly like, but I know I am here for a reason. I have to switch places and I don't want to, but I know that God has a reason for it. I'm sure that God has someone in my pathway to either bless me or let me be a blessing to them (maybe both!). Either way God has my back and no matter what things will be ok. Maybe not Ok in my terms, but in his everything is perfect.

I find another thing comforting, Nothing that has happened in the last year has taken God off guard. Nothing has surprised him. As much as has surprised me, NOTHING has slipped by him and he has had to say, "oops, didn't see that one coming." It seems like every night I am so bogged down and sad, every morning I wake up and see the sun and I know that God is still in control. And indeed, the sorrow lasts only for the night, and HIS joy (not mine) comes in the morning. So fear not brothers and sisters, Joy is on the way!