The principals office

I was called to the principals office A LOT in elementary school and into middle school. I was not the best kid. I was labeled as the "trouble kid." I talked too much, I couldn't sit still, mischievous,not the nicest to my peers or teachers.

Have you ever struggled with letting a circumstance that came your way suddenly define you?

This seems to be a lesson God lets me live over and over. He wants to be my only definition of who I am. I am a child of God, holy and dearly loved. I know this. I teach this. I believe this in the very depths of my soul.

Yet, it is so easy for me to slip into redefining myself when situations arise.

With my head, I am able to see the "principal's office" situation for what it was. I was in a process of being shaped. I was a strong willed child and while this served me well later in life, strength in an immature little person begs to be disciplined.

I can see all of that with my head.

However, with my heart, I feel like a failure. I wanted to decline the opportunity to go to school, work, church...anywhere and go crawl in a hole somewhere. A hole stocked with chips and salsa, brownies made from a box mix, and ice-cold diet soda or sweet tea!

A part of me feels like Ive been called to the principal's office as the voice of condemnation started haunting me, "You are the trouble kid. You cant get it together. You just aren't good enough."

So, quietly, I slipped away with Jesus last night after church. And I did what I've done a hundred times before. I held those condemnations up to the Lord and asked him to help me see this situation the way He wants me to see it. Not the way others see it. Not the way my heart is tempted to see it. But the way He sees it.

And once again He reassured me.

I am not a bad person.

I will never have it together and thats ok.

I am good enough because he lives in me!

Today is a new day. A day where we can choose to only be defined by God's truth and grace as we navigate this wild wonder called life.

Father God, help me to realize that You have perfectly and purposefully planned my life. Today I am going to make the choice to see the good in each situation with my life. Please help me to be a woman that pleases You with my every thought, word and deed. I admit my dependence on You Lord, and ask for Your guidance.