Find joy in your calling

O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the LORD. Behold, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel.
Jeremiah 18:6


The first time I spoke to a large group I was age 18. I had just started college and was involved in the Well ministry on campus. My knees knocked together with such force that I was sure no one could hear what I was saying. I was fresh in my speaking confidence, but my Bible study leader had faith in me. I decided to speak on Revelations. Not just about Heaven, but the whole book! About 45 minutes in, I saw the panicked look on the youth pastor's face. My audience's eyes were glazed over. When I was through I stumbled to my seat, making a promise: I would never, ever speak again..

Funny how promises like that can be broken!

I became involved with a womens ministry through the Well on campus last year. I was selected along with 2 others to be regular speaker/small group teachers.The very first time I spoke, I told my testimony. I left nothing out. I told of my struggles with teenage-dom and then on to how I struggled with balancing sports, school, family, friends. I told about my eating disorder and then my freshmen year of college and how bittersweet it was. I had girls coming up to me from 8th grade up to juniors and seniors in college telling me that they were going through some of what I had and how good it was to hear that they could and would make it through. That night I sat in my small dorm room snuggled up and I prayed. Thank You God for what You did today in the hearts of these women. I will always obey You. I will walk through the doors You open.

But as the date for my speech next week approaches, I find myself in so many knots that I dont think that they will ever untangle. But as I got up for work this morning, I was reading my Bible and drinking a cup of coffee and God spoke to me. "It is good that you obey me, but when will you embrace who I made you to be with joy?" God is opening doors for me to to share my love for Him. Ive studied. Ive prepared. Ive prayed. Ive loved what God did every single time I spoke at the woemens well ministry! But this time I have been mentally showing God the error of His ways: Lord, can't You see her? I think she would be great at this. What about that woman, Father? She's creative and funny! Why don't You pick her?

I feel like I am a strong woman of faith, but in this one aspect I am still the young teen inside, my knees knocking, grateful but absolutely sure that God had made a massive mistake.

The Potter's plans were not deterred by a painful past, or how shy I once was (and still can be), or who I thought might fit the call better. This morning God smashed the clay down and with it, all my pre-conceived notions. Absolute joy filled my heart as I embraced what my Heavenly Father had allowed me to be. Not just as a speaker at an event next week, but as someone who has struggled and overcome with God, as a woman, and as His child.

What about you? Do you see yourself through the eyes of your past, or through the words of others? Do you point out the hurdles or obstacles to overcome rather than the Creator who personally created your DNA? He not be calling you to speak, but there are certainly tasks He has for you. There are areas where He believes in you! Do you struggle to see it the same way? Are you willing to put it all in the hands of the Potter today? He can smash all those preconceived notions just like he did mine! Find the joy in what God has chosen for you to do. He has handpicked a task for each and every one of us... not just as women but as Christians. (I write like all my readers are women...hehe) Trust me... its a high that the world can not replace.

Lord, thank you for showing me that success is not about the applause of people. It's in beautiful brokenness as You remold us and remake us into what You intended from the very beginning. If there is a pebble or a mar in me today, remove it and reshape me according to Your plan.